My summer of flops
Back in November I embarked upon a new movie-watching adventure: flops. I built my flops list, I work my way through it and I continue to build it, but now is a good time to stop and reflect.
It all began when I discovered that Joker: Folie à Deux was a massive flop and it made me really, really want to see it. I did like its prequel Joker despite all the reasons not to, and I like musicals as long as they're not within two degrees of ABBA or Grease, so why not. Obviously it was only right to go see Joker: Folie à Deux at Melbourne's own massive flop, Docklands. I went and I absolutely loved it. But I won't go into that here; that's what my Letterboxd account is for.
Actually I am fibbing. What really got me into flops was seeing Megalopolis back in October when I had no business watching anything but horror movies. I don't really believe that Megalopolis is a true flop because nobody aside from Francis Ford Coppola expected it to be artistically or commercially successful. But it got me thinking.
(At this point I made a zine, Flops, and dropped a few copies off at Sticky Institute. Either they sold out (!) or they all ended up in the recycling. I still have a few copies - friends, let me know if you want me to post you one.)
Flops have a special energy all of their own. At least, top tier flops have it (bear with me, I will get to my top tier in a second). They are spectacular and they linger. They leave you feeling elated or in need of a long convalescence.
Flops all went off the rail somewhere, perhaps because the director was too committed to their own vision, or because the studio got too cynical about the moneymaking dreck they churn out. In either case, the ability to make a movie for an audience went out the window but nobody noticed until it was too late. And then sometimes everyone knows it's a wreck, the salvage job has failed, but it gets released anyway.
I don't think there is a single definition of flops. A typology of flops is feasible. But let's not get too caught up. Here are my top tier flops in no particular order and I encourage you to join me. Roll around in them.
Ishtar (1987)
Notorious and deservedly so. It's excruciating. Don't believe the recent wave of apologists. The least charismatic thing I have ever seen. I want to make other people watch it so I can watch them.
One From the Heart (1982)
The movie that ruined Francis Ford Coppola's career. He's just sticking expensive aesthetics onto a zero stakes love story where worthless mediocrity wins, all the while projecting true artistic notions about himself onto himself. I have thought about One from the Heart a lot since watching it but not about the story, or the characters (except Raúl Juliá), all of which I have forgotten. I've been thinking about its flop energy. It is a contender.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
The back story of this adaptation of Dr. Moreau is well documented. It's not just the sheer scale and childishness of Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer's acts of sabotage, it's the fact that most of them seem to have made it into the final cut. As a result the movie transcends any idea we might have about good and bad movies. I am going to watch this again and again.
Catwoman (2004)
Superhero movie flops are mostly boring and best avoided altogether. Unless they are really, really bad. Catwoman bad. I find it hard to believe that this movie predates AI slop because this is exactly what you would get if the French trained a model on whatever they think Hollywood movies are.
Cats (2019)
You know I haven't watched this since it came out, and I neglected to make notes on it at the time. But I know it belongs on this list and deserves a rewatch before summer is over.
